Indian marriages are giant affairs. An Indian wedding has to be big fat regardless of stick figure brides and grooms. Exquisite food, stunning attires, flabbergasting gossips and all the ‘hoo’s and ‘haa’s make an Indian wedding what it is.
Here are 9 hilarious and weird things about big fat Indian weddings:
- Even if they know there is a cent per cent chance we don’t know them or probably are seeing them for the first time; our supposedly super caring relatives never fail to ask, “Pehchana?” (Did you recognise me?) God forbid if you say yes to save yourself. You will definitely be caught red handed when they prod you to say their name. What a shame!
- Your cheeks are a public property. Anybody and everybody have a right to tread on them and check their elasticity. Oh, and take it as a compliment when they are referred to as ‘rasgulla’s.
- In Gujarat and Gujaratis, no matter how many years have passed since puberty dawned on us, we are always referred to as ‘nano babo’ and ‘moto babo’ quite literally translated to small kid and big kid.
- It is always a surprise that time has probably had its effect on us too. Because guess what? We have grown out our diapers! You never fail to get ‘Oh-look-at-you-young-lady-ready-to-be-married-soon’ looks.
- Have a great catering or else your wedding is just a huge flop show. We come to please our stomachs because most of us really don’t care who is getting married and there’s a high probability we don’t even know the couple.
- Everyone has to have a minimum of one weird photo with their mouths wide open gorging on the massive main course. We just need to know what was on your plate so please don’t mind the cameras hovering around while you eat.
- An Indian bride should be extremely well dressed (read: loaded with jewellery and heavy lehengas. Poor groom!) Keeping that aside, they look beautiful.
- If a bride is smiling and happy at her ‘bidai’, she is shameless. How can you not be sad about ceasing to be daddy’s little girl! Might as well show some maturity, lady.
- Do not. Never. Never dare to break the circle we are sitting in. We have important gossips to do; much more important than world affairs.
Despite these tiny little things that annoy us at times, they are quite amusing too. And of course we cannot deny the lavishness that we drool in during these weddings which again become a gossip for the next…
